Counting Spoons

I don't remember when I last had this many spoons . . .

The few past months have been so in
 busy in my job that I've barely been able to catch my breath. I'm now owed over a week's overtime, which I am struggling to take back. My post grad work slid off the radar around mid-February. And today I met with my tutor to discuss my progress.

'So, where are you at with our dissertation?', was the obvious first question after pleasantries. Ummmm.....

Much of our long meeting was taken up with weighing the practicalities of doing the piece of empirical research I was proposing. Anyone who has done this type of research knows how complicated and time consuming just getting started is, as not only do you need to write very in depth proposals, but then you need to get them through ethic and governance committees who may decide to change what you are doing or may not approve it at all.

'So on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you think you have to give what you're proposing on top of what's going on at work?, he asks. 'That's probably going to take seven spoons I don't have to spare', was my response.

I could only find a meme that counts to 6. Looking for seven clearly used a spoon.

I got a confused look (note to self, explain Spoon Theory to tutor). 'Look, if it was me, I'd always go for the easy route,' he says. 'I never take the easy route,' I say, 'it's rarely ever an option'. Pretty much, I was told that there is an 'easy route' and I should take it. Which means doing a literature review. Which in and of itself isn't a bad thing, just, well, a bit boring.

One of the biggest frustrations of living with chronic illness is having to accept the limitations your body sets for you, no matter what your mind is telling you. And it's not half as much the illness, as it is the bone crushing fatigue that comes with it.

Hence, you have to count how many spoons you have and use them sparingly, which is why I haven't looked at the feedback I was given on my research proposal since February. So now I need to think of a new research topic that suits a literature review and carefully count how many spoons I have to give it.