Bitching . . .

I've had lots to bitch about lately. Lots. And lot And not because I have simply taken up the British tendency to moan. Things really are just pretty shit.

But what makes it all that much worse is this -

Like seriously, how does someone who has been running on empty for weeks now, is continually fatigued from juggling several chronic conditions with a demanding  job and other responsibilities, who spent two days this weekend volunteering at an extremely busy beer festival on their feet (and hardly got any beer, by the way) and walked 3 miles on a walking tour today and been in tears today from utter exhaustion, still not sleep???!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!

I honestly don't remember the last time I got a whole night's sleep. Like a completely uninterrupted, nine solid hours? Nope. Couldn't tell you. It's 2:35 and I haven't even begun to be able to fall asleep. I'm past shattered, can barely keep my eyes open and my brain and restless body are wide awake. Last night? Went to bed at 10, probably fell asleep at 12, awake at 5. Night before? Less than 4 hours. Night before that? Woke up at 4:30, didn't get back to sleep. I'm sure you can see the pattern here.

'Have less caffeine', you say? I've never drunk tea or coffee. 'Get more exercise', you say. See 3 miles walked earlier. 'Get the TV out of the bedroom', you say. Don't own one. 'Read a good book', you say. Just finished one, I have insomnia, remember? 'Have a nice, dark, quiet bedroom', you say. Black out curtains? Check. Eye mask? Check. Tinnitus . . . so much for quiet. 'Have a hot bath! Warm milk! Use mindfulness!' Tried them all. And you know what??

And no, I won't use sleeping tablets. With my level of insomnia, that's a one-way ticket into prescription drug dependency I don't need. My mental suffers enough as it is.

So, I'm still awake with another insanely busy week ahead. I think I've got a right to bitch about it.

Red Pepper Pesto

I haven't posted any cooking as of late mostly because I have been completely and utterly out of spoons. On top of that, my trusty Braun hand-blender finally met its end. It was the first kitchen gadget I bought when I moved to England, and it did eight solid years of making breadcrumbs, soups, sauces, hummus, pesto, crushing ice and just about anything else you would use one for.

It has been dying a slow death for a while (any look back on the recipes posted on this blog shows how much I have used it), but last weekend made the most awful screeching noise, and when I took off the blade shaft, it was full of black gunk, which meant that the motor had now well and truly died. I would be sad (dead kitchen gadgets always are), but I got my £15 worth and then some, and it was really just an excuse to buy a new one!

I came across a recipe for Red Pepper Pesto in the latest magazine published by my local Co-op supermarket and decided to try it today to break in my new shiny Braun hand blender.

I'm considering this low-residue recipe, as the skin and seeds from the peppers are removed and the pine nuts are ground. I have generally found that I'm fine with nuts as long as they are ground. If you really want to low-residue it, use 2 tsp of garlic powder instead of garlic cloves.

So what to do. Cut and de-seed 5 red peppers, removing the steams and the white insides. Lay skin side up in a roasting tray and spritz with sprayed olive oil.

The recipe said to roast them under a hot grill for 20 minutes until the skins start to blacken, but I found they needed 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, I toasted 50g of pine nuts in a dry frying pan, giving them a shake every few minutes to turn them.

Once they were done, I ground the nuts with the hand blender.

I peeled and chopped two large cloves of garlic and set them aside.

When the peppers were done, I used tongs to move them into some big resealable bags. The steam helps to loosen the skins.

I then peeled the skins off, which is a bit of a messy job. 

Then, using the hand blender, I mashed up the peppers with the garlic.

Then I added the ground nuts to the peppers.

I then added 30g of Parmesan cheese, 1 tsp of paprika and some ground black pepper and mixed it with a spatula.

Meanwhile, I cooked up some spaghetti. I had some leftover turkey in the freezer from making a roast last week, so I thawed some of that and threw that in.

The recipe said to use 1/4 of the sauce per serving. Two spoonfuls (nowhere near 1/4 if the mixture) was far more than I would have used! In fact the recipe said it serves four, and I got 6 small size containers full for leftovers!

It's quite nice, but I found it needed a bit of salt to really bring out the flavour. I also added some extra Parmesan and black pepper, and if I were to make it again, I would probably add another clove of garlic. But overall, it was quite good and went down a treat.

I Have the Key (and I'm Not Afraid to Use It!)

I found myself having an interesting conversation with some work colleagues yesterday.

We were setting up an event, and the caretaker suggested that we use the disabled toilet as a baby changing facility, but advised us not to actually close the door from the outside as we would get locked out, unless someone has a RADAR key. 'Don't worry, I've got one', I said.

Three colleagues then asked 'What's a RADAR key?'

In case you don't know either, this is a RADAR key -

The RADAR scheme is organised by Disability Rights UK - http://disabilityrightsuk.org/

The basic idea is that all disabled toilets in public spaces have a universal key, which people with disabilities can get, so they don't need to go looking for a manager/building supervisor to use it. It's a great idea, although it can be a bit hit and miss in practise (like the Weatherspoons I went into once where the disabled loo was clearly being used as a storeroom!).

After explaining this to my colleagues, I then had the inevitable question as to why I have one, as a seemingly able-bodied person. I explained that I have Crohn's Disease and people with IBD can't always wait in the queue in the ladies, especially when they are having a flare up. That clearly started making people uncomfortable, so I then went on to explain that although it doesn't apply to me, some people with IBD have ostomies and it can just be really rather unpleasant to deal with the appliances in a public loo.

Everyone went really quiet and looked at the floor. Nothing quite shuts down a conversation like a discussion about ostomies!

They should be glad that I didn't tell them about J-pouches!!

There was a brilliant blog that went around the internet on this subject a few months ago. It's definitely worth a read (unless you don't want to know what a J-pouch is!) - http://sobadass.me/2015/02/17/to-the-woman-who-tutted-at-me-using-the-disabled-toilets/

 IBD is 'an invisible illness'. Not all disabilities are visible, so please don't judge the seemingly able-bodied person you see using the disabled loo, you probably don't know what they are living with.